I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
