Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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