dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
is it fun? or sober?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
