I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
