i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
