too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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