Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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