Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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