i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
