my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
