Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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