if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
