Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
