I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fuck appropriateness.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
