is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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