Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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