I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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