remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
