i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
