Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
