will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
