So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize