he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
