don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
