Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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