Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
