PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
