Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
