his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
