He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize