I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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