am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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