Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
