he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
