And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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