Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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