You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
