So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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