I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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