Got a toothbrush?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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