No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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