kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
