home. puking in laundry basket.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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