speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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