I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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