There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
