Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can't special order awesome
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
