Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
