he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think people are normalizing furries
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
