it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
