You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
