WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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