his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
