Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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