he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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