why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
last night I used snow as a chaser
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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