dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Randomize
