u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
