why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Can you bring me the toilet please
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
